


The Pain That Binds Us

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Canon, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24572827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: An excerpt:Felix's vision became clouded, and he grew unable to focus. In the distance, he thought he heard frightened shouts from Glenn and various soldiers just before slipping into unconsciousness.Hundreds of miles away, Sylvain awoke to faint pain still shooting up his back, remembering Miklan's cruel sneer as he was pushed backwards into the well. He then sent a silent apology to his soulmate, wherever they were.---It has been said that soulmates can find one another through the shared pain they experience. However, duty may take precedent over matters of the heart. A look at Sylvain and Felix's relationship throughout the years, and how this bond shapes them as people.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	The Pain That Binds Us

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I'm really excited to share this with you all. [psuedoscientist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psuedoScientist/pseuds/psuedoScientist) and I have been sitting on it since August, and finally decided to post what we have so far.

**_1169_ **

It was on the morning of his sixth birthday when Felix first felt the most intense pain of his life that wasn’t his own.

The young boy awoke to the sensation of the cold Faerghus air nipping against his face. Before he even opened his eyes, his heart filled with excitement, as it was finally the day he was allowed to watch his brother train - something he’d been eagerly anticipating by the time he could form a sentence.

Felix was full of energy from the moment his feet hit the floor. He jumped out of bed and ran down the heavily ornamented halls to grab some freshly cooked breakfast from the kitchen.

He gobbled down the meal in an instant. In silent thanks, Felix waved to the chefs as he exited through the kitchen door, unable to wait any longer on his quest to find his brother.

Felix thought about the day ahead of him as he ran back to his quarters in the residential wing. He had told his parents numerous times that he wished for a training sword, but their skeptical looks made it seem as though that wouldn’t happen for a few more years.

If his parents would prevent him from training himself, he would (for now) spend his time analyzing Glenn’s technique to eventually apply it to his own.

Felix knocked at Glenn’s door relentlessly upon his arrival. Despite being a consistent early riser, Glenn tended to take his time preparing himself for the day, often getting lost in thought. Not wanting to wait any longer, Felix decided to see if he could move his brother along. 

“Glenn, are you ready?” Felix pestered, eyes alight with excitement.

“Patience, Felix. The world does not revolve around your every whim.” Glenn fondly grunted, messing with his younger brother’s unruly hair.

Felix tried to swipe his brother’s hand, but his youthful lack of muscle worked against him. “Aw, c’mon, stop it brother! Hurry up already!” Felix whined.

A few moments later, Glenn exited his room wearing his usual training attire, a simple tunic and pants. He signalled for his younger brother to follow him as they made their way to the equipment storage facility, which sat on the opposite end of the expansive property. 

The frigid Faerghus air bit at their faces as soon as they set foot outside the castle, the temperature more brutal than usual due to the Pegasus Moon’s unrelenting freeze.

During the walk over, Felix began to feel an uncomfortable sensation wrap itself around his arms. It was reminiscent of when he and Glenn would wrestle and Glenn would pin him down and squeeze his arms too hard, caught up in the satisfaction of winning. He would always worriedly apologize afterwards, but this feeling did not want to relent.

Felix tried to pay it no mind, not wanting to seem childish in front of his older brother (afraid he would think Felix wasn’t ready to watch his sword play), but had to wipe away a few traitorous tears nonetheless.

Felix didn’t understand why he was experiencing these pains, but did his best to push through.

The brothers entered through the large oak doors and into the heated facility, passing by the embellished fireplace in the foyer. Men and women of all ages were scattered throughout the area, sparring. Seeing children so close to his age made Felix itch to pick up a sword despite his lack of experience and muscles to hold a weapon properly with.

Head high, Glenn confidently strode over to the sword rack, Felix clumsily trailing a few paces behind him. At six years old, the young boy lacked full command of his body, which was viewed as endearing to some (namely Glenn, much to Felix’s chagrin) but frustrated Felix to no end.

He longed to be as strong and impressive as his older brother. He did his best just to focus on his feet, determined not to trip and embarrass himself in a room full of people whom he one day hoped to best in combat.

Without warning, a sudden bolt of pain shot through Felix’s back, pulling all his muscles tight and forcing him to collapse on the dirt flooring. He simultaneously experienced the vague sensation of falling and landing hard on his back.

His vision became clouded, and he grew unable to focus. In the distance, he thought he heard frightened shouts from Glenn and various soldiers just before slipping into unconsciousness.

* * *

Felix opened his eyes to the worried looks of his father and brother peering over at him from their places alongside his bed. Confused, Felix began to raise himself up and question why they looked so concerned, but was quickly reminded of what transpired by the soreness present in his back.

Echoes of pain followed him as he dropped back down onto the bed, attempting to get into a more comfortable position.

“Felix, I’m so glad you’re awake - you gave me a real scare back there,” Glenn stated, relief evident in his voice.

“Glenn told me that you fell unconscious with no warning." He paused. "I’m almost positive that I know the cause, but I wanted to ask you a question before I jumped to any conclusions. Have you been experiencing phantom pains like these recently?” Rodrigue asked, scanning Felix’s frame for any evident injuries and checking his forehead for signs of a fever.

“I had felt some pressure on my arms earlier, but that was all. I don’t know why I fell, though, father. Before it happened, I felt just fine.” Felix replied, which prompted Rodrigue and Glenn to turn towards each other and share a knowing look.

Felix narrowed his eyes at the exchange, suspicion growing heavy in his gut. They seemed to be conspiring, and he didn’t like it one bit.

Rodrigue then fixed Felix with a serious look, making the young boy curl in on himself slightly and dread what was to come. “Listen here, my boy. Have you heard of the concept of soulmates?” Felix shook his head. “They are the person the goddess has deemed your other half. They’ll bring immeasurable happiness into your life, if you’re lucky enough to find them-”

“How _can_ I?” Felix interrupted, eyes wide with wonder, suddenly desperate to know more.

Rodrigue chuckled, charmed by Felix’s innocent curiosity. “Luckily, the goddess has given us gifts to help us. When one half is suffering, echoes of this same pain will be felt by the other. This is how you’ll know.”

“Father, can I meet them today? It’s my birthday, after all, and I was unable to watch Glenn spar.” Rodrigue gave him a sad yet amused smile.

“I’m sorry, son. You’ll just have to wait until the time comes.”

This marked a tumultuous change in Felix’s life plan; he decided then and there that he would become strong enough to protect his soulmate from whatever hurt them, no matter the cost.

Hundreds of miles away, Sylvain awoke to faint pain still shooting up his back, remembering Miklan's cruel sneer as he was pushed backwards into the well. He then sent a silent apology to his soulmate, wherever they were.

* * *

**_1170_ **

Felix had been told from a very early age that he wouldn’t be the heir to his household, but that didn’t stop his family from dragging him along to various meetings and events.  _ Especially _ if they were at the capital.

When visiting the king, the leaders of house Fraldarius, Galatea, and Gautier would commune together for weeks on end even after their drab discussions took place.

This annoyed Felix a bit, but he didn’t mind too much; it meant he had the chance to see Ingrid, Dimitri, and Sylvain, the children of these prominent families, whom he probably considered his closest friends.

He’d known Ingrid the longest, seeing as she would come to his territory every moon to visit Glenn. Ingrid’s family was elated when the two of them were discovered to be soulmates the year prior.

Felix was happy that Ingrid was Glenn’s soulmate rather than some stuffy noblewoman, because she may very well be the only person he’d ever tolerate being his future sister-in-law. She wasn’t like other girls he had met, who were unwilling to go and play outside with him. This comparison greatly boosted his opinion of her.

Rodrigue and Lambert’s close partnership meant he saw Dimitri quite often. The blonde boy was a good friend, even if he instigated fights every now and then.

Sylvain, however, was in a league of his own.

He was infuriating, yet simultaneously captivating to be around. Being the eldest of the group, Sylvain automatically seemed vastly wiser than the rest of them, which earned their begrudging respect. He chose to wield this power by leading them on forbidden adventures around the castle.

He would often forget which direction they were meant to be headed on their exploits, which caused Ingrid, the ever mature one, to step up and lead them back to where they were supposed to be patiently waiting for their parents.

On occasion, the group would pretend to be knights with their wooden swords and have mock battles with each other in the garden. 

Felix was willing to take on whatever role Sylvain gave to him, and Dimitri was usually happy to play along with it, if only to prevent an argument from breaking out between their group.

Sylvain tried to insist that Ingrid play the helpless princess who needed to be rescued by knights, but she quickly grew bored of that role and demanded that “if Sylvain wanted a princess, he had to fill that role himself”.

Naturally, the next time they played, they all were knights.

When Dimitri would play with them, he had a tendency to break his toy sword and immediately start profusely apologizing for breaking it, hoping no one received any splinters. Sylvain would tell him to lighten up a little, while Felix would look away in an attempt to hide his jealousy over Dimitri’s overwhelming strength and his ability to command Sylvain’s attention.

Felix would often pester Sylvain to claim more of the redhead's attention for himself. 

“Sylvain! I know you’ve already started your training, and since my parents say I can’t start for a whole ‘nother year, can you please teach me something? Just one move, I promise, then I’ll stop asking,” Felix begged. Sylvain rolled his eyes in endearment at his younger companion, which hurt Felix’s feelings slightly, but did not deter him.

“I don’t see why you’re so anxious to learn. Once lessons start, you’ll quickly grow tired of them. Besides, you plan to train with a short sword, and I’m being taught with the lance.” Felix scowled up at Sylvain.

“If you aren’t serious, Sylvain, I’ll surpass you quickly!” Sylvain laughed at the threat and playfully shoved him.

“Don’t shrug off the ambitions of a person just because they’re younger than you, Sylvain.” Ingrid chided, crossing her arms.

“Says the one who’s just a month older than Felix!” Ingrid rapidly lost her patience with Sylvain’s weak attempt to maintain control of the situation, and knocked him on the forehead with the back of her hand.

“Glenn told me as such, and he’s older and more disciplined than all of us, so he knows better than you!” Ingrid retorted, glaring up at the taller boy. “I’m sure Miklan would agree.” At this, Sylvain quieted and looked to the floor.

“Shouldn’t we all try to get along?” Dimitri pleaded.

Felix turned back to Sylvain and tugged on his shoulder in an attempt to get back on topic.

“Just one move?” Felix asked, pouting slightly. Sylvain met his gaze and groaned, rubbing his temples as if in eternal dismay.

“If it’ll make you stop pestering me.”

* * *

Somehow, one move turned into two, which then turned into three. All the children took great joy in practicing their fighting technique, with Felix easily improving the most. It brought him a quiet sense of pride.

The evening bell rang out in the middle of their practice, and the group, too hungry to ignore its alluring call, rushed to the dining hall. Local Fhirdhiad goods had been brought to the castle earlier in the day to be used in some of the children’s favorite dishes, which had excited them upon notice.

That night, Ingrid sat apart from the three boys, instead choosing to be with Glenn and his band of knights-in-training. Sylvain was rather displeased by this development, glaring at the lack of space between her and Glenn.

“What’s so great about soulmates anyways? Why wouldn’t Ingrid just hang out with us?” Sylvain complained, earning a confused look from Dimitri.

“What, you don’t want to find your soulmate?” Dimitri questioned incredulously. Sylvain crossed his arms and sunk in his chair trying to disappear.

“I just don’t understand why everyone is so obsessed with spending all their time with their soulmate! Ingrid sees Glenn way more than the rest of us; what’s so wrong with staying with your friends?” Felix rolled his eyes at Sylvain’s statement and looked the opposite direction.

“You’re just bitter that you haven’t found yours yet, Sylvain,” Felix said, sending him a pointed look. Sylvain continued to sulk, and Felix turned to Dimitri.

“Have you found yours, Dimitri?” the blonde turned to face the window with a faraway look in his eyes and a hint of pink on his cheeks.

“No, but just last week a cut appeared on my left arm. They must be quite the fighter, as I get scrapes all the time!” he then paused in embarrassment. “I’m very anxious to meet them,” Dimitri shyly continued. Felix smirked and lifted his chin in pride, always ready to gush about his soulmate and one-up Dimitri.

“My soulmate got a really bad injury last week - I bet mine hurt more than yours!”

(Of course, unbeknownst to Felix, Sylvain quitely cringed in remembrance of an injury he coincidentally also received the week previous - Miklan had been in a mood and made sure to remind him of exactly what he had taken away from his older brother - but not with words.)

“What contest are you exactly trying to win here, Felix?” Glenn teased from the other side of the table, causing Ingrid to snicker. Felix, suddenly feeling ashamed of his words, hung his head and looked down at his lap. Sylvain then gave him a reassuring nudge with his knee, cheering Felix up a bit and making the rest of the night seemingly bearable.

The next two weeks passed by faster than Felix would’ve preferred. By the final few days, the children were all hesitant to leave each other once again, but had learned to grow used to the long periods of separation. Felix would see Ingrid again soon enough, but would miss Sylvain and Dimitri dearly (even if he’d never admit it to them).

The Galatea’s were the first to depart at the end of the summit after several teary eyed goodbyes from the children. Their parents watched on with pitiful smiles. Felix’s family was ready to leave soon after, as they had a few other duties to complete on their journey home.

The morning of their departure, as if blown by the wind, Sylvain appeared at Felix’s quarters. Felix, upon answering his door, was promptly dragged out of his room, wrist tightly connected to his older friend’s hand, and pulled through the palace.

“Where - Sylvain, I have to leave soon,” Felix groaned. Sylvain abruptly stopped in the hallway, causing Felix to stumble. He turned around and stared Felix dead in the eyes with an uncharacteristically serious look. His intense gaze caught Felix off guard, making him stop in concern.

He looked down to notice that Sylvain had not let go of his wrist, which brought an inexplicable warmth to his chest.

“What is it?” Felix asked, worry evident in his voice.

“We don’t need our soulmates when we have each other, right? Let’s stick together until the very end, okay Felix?”

It felt as though a big gust of wind had blown in Felix’s face when presented with this monumental choice. Felix initially shook his head, unable to comprehend why Sylvain would choose him over his soulmate - or why Sylvain felt the need to confront him about this before the sun had even risen.

As he continued to hold eye contact with Sylvain, Felix contemplated what all this meant to him. He figured it would be a completely boring life without Sylvain there to keep him company. He also knew he still wanted to protect his soulmate, so he couldn’t give that up.

There was, however, the possibility that Sylvain could help him in his endeavors. Felix then wouldn’t have to leave Sylvain behind for his own soulmate, giving them the best of both worlds.

His confused stare slowly melted as he looked up at his friend, silently praying Sylvain wouldn’t change his mind and abandon Felix in favor of his own soulmate. Though contradictory to what Sylvain had said, the idea seemed too terrible to bear, and Felix suddenly wanted to make sure it never came to fruition.

“Promise me,” Felix said, looking at Sylvain with a determined glint in his eyes.

“Yes?” Now it was Sylvain’s turn to be caught off guard.

“Promise me that we’ll do nothing less,” Felix smiled widely as he held out his pinky for Sylvain to grab with his own, both hearts elated at what this signified for the future.

“I promise.”

Later, as Felix looked out the window of his family’s carriage, the warmth that filled him after his conversation with Sylvain still lingered. For reasons known only to him, Felix couldn’t stop grinning the entire journey home.

* * *

**_1172_ **

On that day, Sylvain and Felix had chosen to spar in the Gautier training grounds. Even though Felix had only begun training a few moons ago, Sylvain was already having trouble keeping up with him. Despite being older, he didn’t have Felix’s ambition or speed. Sylvain deeply admired his tenacity for improvement.

Still, as he swiped Felix’s legs out from under him, Sylvain came to the conclusion that he still had time before he was truly outmatched.

“That was dirty,” Felix mumbled from the ground as Sylvain extended a hand to help him up.

“I only did it because you left an opening,” Sylvain pointed out. “You have to keep your eyes on your opponent at all times-”

“Obviously!” Felix shook himself off and was getting back into a fighting position when Sylvain shook his head.

“I’m going to bed, we’ve been training all day.” Felix huffed at Sylvain’s statement, but quickly conceded when he noticed Dimitri still at the training grounds. He ran off to rope the other boy into sparring.

Sylvain put his lance away, starting back to his quarters. While walking, he began to think about soulmates. Recently, they’d been at the forefront of his mind, as his own had been sending a lot of random bruises his way throughout the day. He sincerely hoped that they weren’t in serious danger, as at this point, there was nothing he could do about it.

While, like anyone, he’d like to meet his soulmate, he didn’t know if it was for the best. His family would eventually want him to marry a noblewoman, and meeting his soulmate would only make that harder. He could get lucky, like Glenn and Ingrid, and not have to worry about status affecting his relationship, but that was unlikely.

He hadn’t  _ ever _ been lucky where it mattered.

It would be better if he could just pretend he’d never had a soulmate to begin with, but they were certainly making their presence known with all the scrapes and bruises.

Sylvain felt another sharp pain across his ribs, and grimaced at the reminder of his dilemma. He then noticed red start to blossom against the white of his shirt.

“Shit!” Sylvain exclaimed, hurrying back to his quarters for bandages. He locked the door behind him and tore through the drawers, locating a roll of gauze which he quickly wrapped around his middle. The cut didn’t seem too deep, and Sylvain figured he wouldn’t go to the infirmary unless his condition severely worsened. No need to draw any attention to his unlucky soulmate.

He changed clothes and went to bed straight away, exhausted from a tiring day and the panic he had just experienced. Despite his best attempts, he couldn’t keep his mind from drifting to his soulmate, quietly hoping that they were okay.

The next morning, Felix was absent from the dining hall. This was quite abnormal, seeing as Felix was hardly one to rise late or diverge from his routine even slightly. Once Sylvain spotted Dimitri and Ingrid, he rushed over to them to inquire about the anomaly.

“Where’s Felix?” Sylvain asked, causing Dimitri to look at his feet in guilt.

“Last night, at the training grounds, I accidentally hit his ribs, causing quite a large gash.” Dimitri sounded torn up about the situation. “They took him to the infirmary last night, as he was… heavily bleeding, to say the least. I believe he’s still there now, if you’d like to check.”

Although Dimitri kept talking after that, Sylvain could hardly hear anything over the pounding of blood in his ears. His stomach dropped, but he forced himself to remain calm.

_ It’s just a coincidence. It has to be a coincidence. It could’ve happened to anyone. _

Sylvain took off towards the infirmary, causing concerned looks from Ingrid and Dimitri that he barely processed. He did his best not to linger too long on the possibility of Felix being his soulmate, of him also experiencing Miklan’s rage. It was too painful a thought to consider.

These concerns carried Sylvain all the way to the infirmary, where he was greeted by the smell of antiseptic and warmth of healing magic. He looked around the room to find Felix asleep on a cot in the back right corner.

Trying his best not to wake him, Sylvain carefully approached his bedside, inhaling sharply at the sight of bandages wrapped around Felix’s ribcage.

They were a perfect mirror of his own.

* * *

Sylvain was young, but not especially naïve; he knew that his soulmate was not someone he could hope to marry one day, especially with the responsibility he held to his family. They couldn’t ever learn the truth.

Most importantly,  _ Felix _ couldn’t learn the truth. Sylvain would never do that to him. Felix deserved a soulmate who could be there for him in a way Sylvain never could. His responsibility lay with his house before all else, no matter how much Sylvain hated the thought.

Even though the decision pained him, there was no way to get around it. Sylvain had to make sure Felix never knew by  _ whatever _ means necessary.

If later that evening, after a particularly brutal session with Miklan, Sylvain turned around and began to flirt with the main hall attendants, none were wiser in his motives.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! If this garners enough interest, we're happy to continue :) Please let us know what you think in the comments thus far.
> 
> If you have any questions / want to give me a shout, here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/yeeyee123123) and [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/yeeyee123)!


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